Sometimes I hear from wives who are concerned that their estranged husband has “forgotten” about them because he has started seeing other people during the separation. And many worry that if he has gotten over his wife, it means the marriage is over and a divorce will follow. I heard a wife say, “My husband and I split up about three months ago. We haven’t been fighting horribly or anything, but my husband has made no attempt to go home even though there have been cases where we have began to reconnect. At one point, my husband told me that he didn’t know if he would ever get over me. This gave me some hope. However, over the last week, he has been honest about the fact that he has started to see other people. What does this mean for my separation and my marriage? Does the fact that I see other people mean that I have been overcome? And if he has overcome me, is my marriage over? “I will try to address these concerns in the next Article.
A husband who is seeing other people may be trying to cope or explore instead of moving on: Of course, she had no way of knowing exactly what this husband was thinking. However, I hear from many husbands on my blog and many husbands in this situation are simply torn apart and trying to cope. Sometimes their family or friends tell them to “stop being depressed” or “move on” so they feel pressured to see other people, even if their heart isn’t really in it.
Also, sometimes men just want to explore what happens in terms of their thoughts and feelings when they see other people. Sometimes your intention is not to get serious with someone else. Rather, they want to see if dating other people makes them miss their wife or if other women seem inferior to their wife in comparison. Believe it or not, sometimes this situation really helps the marriage because the husband finds that he misses his wife, as seeing the other woman makes him feel empty and makes him want his wife much more.
I find it hard to believe that a husband can “forget his wife” after only three months or so: This separation had only lasted three months. Unless their marriage was terrible that made the husband absolutely miserable, it was hard to believe that the husband had completely forgotten his wife and was ready to move on in that short period of time. Sure, you could be trying to see another woman because of your size and you may even think that you are succeeding. But I suspect that even if you are not experiencing overtly negative feelings, somewhere deep within you, you must still feel something for your wife. In my opinion, three months is too early to completely get over someone. Of course, the husband and the others may disagree.
What should you do if you fear that your husband has gotten over you or is moving on during your separation ?: My best advice would be not to panic. It did not appear that the husband in this situation was seeing any particular woman. Basically, he was casually dating different people. Basically, I was getting started and exploring. Of course, this made the wife fear that she would eventually move out for good, but, as I said before, this is certainly not always the case. Many times, the husband’s attempt to date someone is not entirely satisfactory and makes him miss his wife. That is why you should not jump to conclusions or act in a way that makes your husband feel defensive. I know it’s tempting to want to demand answers from him and ask what that means. But sometimes, if you get too much out of this, it actually pushes you to defend it, and thus to pursue it even more.
My suggestion would be to acknowledge that you are worried and confused by him seeing other people, but, for now, let him go and keep watching. Stay upbeat and easily accessible and consider adding a bit of mystery to the equation. Honestly, I don’t advocate seeing other people just to make you jealous because this will usually only confuse you more. But I don’t think there is anything wrong with hanging out with your friends or family and letting him wonder where you are. He certainly doesn’t need to think that you are sitting at home and waiting for him. Because if he’s wondering what you’re doing, he’ll have a little more incentive to assess where he’s headed with this. I would like to emphasize more. While creating a little mystery is good, you don’t want to give the impression that you are moving on or that you are no longer interested in your husband. Because doing so could give you more incentive to intensify your dates, which is the last thing you want.
Instead, you want to lay a positive foundation for him to want to interact with you and eventually to look around and wonder why he’s wasting time with other women when he could be with you permanently.