According to a survey, 92 percent of unfaithful men said they cheat due to emotional disconnection. People would think that men cheat because of sex, but what they don’t realize is that sex, being a medium of emotional transmission in a physical expression, is as important to men as affection is important to women.
Men are also emotional beings. The problem is that society has painted them in a way that doesn’t make them look like that. Society plays an important role in defining men. Think about it, the media believes that men become “macho” when they have more than one woman. Almost to the point where it connotes that the more women a man can have, the more powerful he becomes, or that men have the biological right to cheat primarily because they have the penis.
They don’t have to worry about being pregnant or checking their monthly OB / GYN visits. The media portrays them as alpha dogs and that women are mere expendable sex objects. We delude ourselves into believing that men are these lustful and animal gods who have no sense of self-control, remorse, and conscience to figure out what is right and what is wrong when it comes to sex.
This misconception is confusing and can basically mislead us from the truth. Men are just as emotional as women, but they simply displace their emotions in different and socially acceptable ways.
1. Thanks– Most men who cheat feel undervalued by their partners. With daily worries like bills, kids, and chores, couples stop appreciating each other. The other woman often makes the man feel better, making them feel different, appreciated, and admired. Men look strong, powerful and capable. But inside, they are insecure like everyone else. They are looking for someone to edify them so that they feel valued.
Men have a winning mentality. Think about how men view their favorite sports teams on television. They love to win. As long as they are in the game, even to the end, they will see it. Once it’s a blowout and they know their team can’t win, the television goes off. Now they may not have been good guys to live in, but if you want to preserve your relationship, make them feel like they are winning with the things they do for you. No matter how small it is, appreciation will keep your man from watching an affair.
2. Appearance vs attention– 88 percent of men surveyed in one study said that other women were no prettier than their own wives or girlfriends. This just proves that there are other things besides physical appearance that can lead a man to cheat. Attention is one of them. Most men cheat because their wives or girlfriends stop paying attention to them. They take hold of this very hard and if they can’t find it in your house or apartment, they come looking for it elsewhere.
The other woman makes them feel safe. They feel like they can be themselves. They can speak more, express themselves more, and the listening ear is always available when they need to share their stories. They are amazed at how another person can be so interested in their work, their childhood, their plans and their dreams. And men put a high price on it!
Anyone, no matter how you look at it, can admire him, open up and give him that little extra bombshell and hold on to his every word. So instead of spending too much extra time in the office, why not spend some quality time listening to your partner?
3. Power. A common mistake made by working women is when they make men feel emasculated by rubbing their faces that they have higher incomes. This can make the child feel criticized and, again, underrated. Making them lose their sense of power in a relationship.
According to Sherry Argov, in the book “Why Men Marry Bitches”, “Power is as intoxicating for men as romance intoxicating women.” Once they feel vulnerable, the men will try to regain lost power by cheating on a woman who, as you guess, usually works as a waitress at TGI Fridays!
So be very careful what your partner looks like when you have a high-level career. Although men may appear supportive and proud, they have a certain form of insecurity when it comes to providing food on the table or paying for dinners. It does not mean that the woman should feel sorry for being more successful than him, or that she should simply quit her job or ask to be demoted just to caress her ego.
It’s more about how you handle yourself with tact and sensitivity when you talk about your job, your paycheck, your FICO score, your investments, or your purchases. Modesty is the important thing here. Also, do not criticize your job or your income. Make sure you let him know that you are supporting him, not competing against him.
4. Passion. Most couples stop dating when the honeymoon stage ends. Four years after we were married and it’s all about microwave TV dinners and talking about bills. The spice has been replaced by monotony. So every now and then you should go to your favorite restaurant, go to the movies (not rent a DVD), and watch a movie that you both enjoy.
Activities outside of the routine of life at home are the things that get the juice flowing in a relationship. Many couples stop dating after marriage or after a long period of time, then the woman wonders why the man has run away with another woman.
This is because men, in general, like women who are fun and outgoing. They like a woman who laughs more and knows how to have fun. Men are like boys and if you’re not going to be a fun playmate, they’ll find the next neighborhood girl to play with. If you are so carried away, chances are that he would resent you for it. A man needs to be constantly stimulated to keep his attention. Otherwise, you will retaliate and feel despised and taken for granted. He wants to know that he can still be entertained by his company, that he can still make people laugh and be interested in his character.
Do not leave the humor because you are already busy with important priorities. Include recreation in your budget and schedule. Make sex more interesting by shopping for a new pair of sexy lingerie. Experiment in bed. The key here is that you need to cover all aspects of your life together to keep him hooked and interested only in you.
This is not to say that you should be a doormat and become his own private entertainer, like a court jester who juggles with the king all day. The very purpose of this is to keep the fire going, the engines running, and the steam flowing. Remember, men are just as passionate as women.